Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
