Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
