Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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