booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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