the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
