He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
