you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
