Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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