Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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