can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
