Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
