Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
