New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
