dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
