Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
