margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Me too!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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