I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
