i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
