you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
