Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
