It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
