Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
