your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
