I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
