Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
another moral hangover. fuck.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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