with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
