So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
