I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
