It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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