So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
