just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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