What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize