he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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