If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
