It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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