Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
