I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
