Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
