The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
