If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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