giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
