like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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