Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
