I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
