Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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