I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
