Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
