he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
