How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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