you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
