the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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