you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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