She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
