this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
sex in a hospital.. check
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
