i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
